Positive Steps for Saving a Relationship

The pain of a relationship breakup is all consuming.  In fact, the pain is so intense that there are few moments in life that can equal it.  But love can survive when the focus is on saving a relationship rather than on the inevitably of a relationship breakup.

The most important element in saving a relationship is to stay together until the two of you can work on the solutions.  In the heat of an argument it is easy to walk out the door, but by all means let passions cool.  Will you be able to bear the regret of giving up?

Relationships that matter can almost always be saved when both parties are willing to work at strengthening the relationship.  No relationship is perfect.  The key is to find your common ground and to work together to change a troubled relationship into a lasting relationship. 

Here are some suggestions to get started.

1.  Take a break.  Is whatever is causing the problem worth the future of the relationship?  Calm down.  Express your desire to work things out. Stop arguing, and take some time to think about what you want to accomplish.

2.  Give each other some time.  Resist the urge to try to talk things out when tensions are high.  Instead, each of you needs some solitude to approach solutions in a non hostile, non argumentative way.  Don't "go to bed angry".  Rather, agree to step away to reflect, and to identify the true problems.

3.  When the situation has cooled, communicate.  Understand that listening is even more important than speaking.  Your communications should uncover the real reasons for the problems.  One or both of you might be incensed over something over a problem that the other is not even aware of.  Only by honest communication, can you hope to expose and to repair the problems.

4.  Saving a relationship is about respecting your partner.  Sometimes the best way to soothe is to agree to disagree on certain issues.  When you can respect each other's points of view, your relationship can flourish despite your differences.  

5.  With respect comes compromise.  Each of you must be willing to compromise for the betterment of one another and for the health of your relationship.

Saving a relationship takes time.  Be patient.  Find value in your love rather than in your differences.