The decision to save a relationship is to consider all the consequences. Relationship problems can be mended with a few exceptions. Those exceptions include abusive relationships and destructive relationships. In each of those cases, you must evaluate the possibility of reconciliation versus the potential for permanent damage. Rarely can a destructive or abusive relationship be salvaged. In either case, professional intervention is warranted.
However, in situations where a relationship is neither profoundly destructive nor abusive, it is possible, even likely that you can solve your relationship problems with some effort on both parts.
Almost all relationship problems begin with insufficient communication. When a couple fails to communicate, they risk losing commitment to one another, resentment rises, and insecurities take over.
Here are some tips for improving communication.
• Above all, make time for each other. Silence the cell phones, put the computer to sleep, and turn on some comforting, soothing music. When necessary, plan specific times every day when the two of you can simply enjoy being with one another. Use your time together to share each other's daily ups and downs, to share a good laugh, and to work to become closer.
• All couples must communicate on persistent relationship problems. To do this, you must mutually establish some ground rules. Consent not to interrupt, to avoid critical comments, and to stop the blame game. If the conversation becomes intense, agree to take a break. When you continue the communication, think about a more public environment if necessary, where hollering really is not an option!
• Beyond all, appreciate that communication is all about listening. Each of you must freely express your position and your beliefs. But even more important is the willingness to listen. The majority of relationship problems can be solved simply by listening to each other.
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